Editing
I hit “send” and woosh, the MS is on its way to my beta reader. This is when the nerves get to me and I cocoon myself in self-doubt and comfort food for the next few days. Is the romantic scene I wrote evocative enough or just plain embarrassing? Did I strike the right level of suspense in my abduction scene or does it suck as much as I fear?
In the meantime I thought this would be a good time to list a few of the things I’ve learned over the past year.
- DO NOT begin every sentence with I (or “he” or “his” etc.). “I exhaled sharply” could just as easily be “my breath came fast and hard”. Okay, I know what you’re thinking. How about, “With his eyes following me around the room, I exhaled sharply”. Well, it’s better than the first option (I'm not going to debate whether eyes can in fact "follow" somebody), but since when do we settle for “better”? Pick the verb (“exhale”) and turn it into the subject (“breath”) of the sentence.
- DO NOT use filters. “I looked up and saw him coming at me...” How about “He came at me...”? “I thought about his betrayal and why I’d ever let him get so close to me” -> “Why did I let him get so close to me?”. “The best option for you is to pick a magazine and then go home.” -> “Pick a magazine and go home.”
- Get rid of fill words such as “very”, “just”, “almost”, “approximately”, “really”, “that” etc. At worst, they weaken the expression you were trying to strengthen. “I’m very excited for you” is no improvement on “I’m excited for you”. Compile your own list of fill words and then cut them from your script by using the FIND facility on your computer.
- DO NOT generalize. Use specifics where you can. “like a dog” => “like a bulldog/schnauzer/etc.”
- Delete the repeats. “He could no longer tell me what to do. No, I was done letting him control my life.” - Pick one.
- Find your “weak words”, the words you fall back on time and again. In my case these are “grabbed”, “pulled” and “smiled”. Time for the thesaurus. How about “pick up”, “fish out”, “dig out”, “gathered” etc.? Take a day off from writing and come up with your own list. Without pointing a finger at any one thesaurus as better than any other, I love “Word Web”. Well worth the money I paid for it. It displays synonyms, types, antonyms etc., but it also lets me edit the entries, so whenever I come across a nice turn of phrase I can add it.
There is of course more to writing, and I could easily expand on this, and maybe I will in future. But for now, these pointers should help you tighten your prose, which will in turn boost your confidence.
PS: If you’re interested in beta reading for me, let me know. I’m happy to reciprocate. E-mail me at Carmen.Finestra@gmx.com.
